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Writer's Block: 9/11

Where were you?


I was at work.

My dad had died only a few weeks before and I was still trying to function, still trying to find "normal", still prone to crying unexpectedly and I remember it being one of "those" mornings where I was having trouble being present to my life. The weekend before I had been at a sort of life bootcamp and I had so much going on in my head and my heart trying to process my day to day life.

The radio played over the phone system and the dj announced a plane had hit one of the towers; he said they didn't know if it was an accident or deliberate. I went into my boss's office and turned on the tv. Watched the coverage. When the second tower fell I remember screaming.

My boss (at the time) was mad because people kept cancelling her appointments for the day. I remember wanting to go get Savannah out of school, wanting to hug her.

I remember thinking I was glad my dad hadn't lived to see that day.

Everyone was stunned; we talked about donating blood.

The phones stopped ringing and everyone went home and I closed the office thirty minutes early and drove home. The roads were deserted...I don't remember passing another car. I stopped at a church on my way home, wanting to pray, but the sanctuary and the offices were closed. Gone home to be with their own families, I hope.

I remember watching the news for days on end, wondering where all of this hate was coming from, being scared for my niece who is of middle Eastern descent, whose father is a Muslim and praying for the people, their families, our country. And holding Savaannah as much as she would let me.

Days (or was it weeks?) later, when planes started flying again, I was in the car on a gorgeous fall day and the sky was so, so blue and I saw a plane in the sky for the first time since that Tuesday and I watched it glide across the sky and I thought of those people in the plane and I thought of Savannah and how safety and control are just illusions. But mainly I thought about all those mothers who had lost their children and all the children who had lost parents and I cried.

This is a day of mourning and memory, but I will admit I have been frustrated over the past week with some media outlets. It seems to me that they are rather enthusiastically splitting open a collective wound. But I also know that everyone grieves differently; I am just avoiding the news today. And I am praying, a lot.

Peace.

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion... love actually is all around.

---Prime Minister, Love Actually

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
phdelicious
Sep. 12th, 2011 12:13 am (UTC)
It was weird to be in the odd college bubble while all this was going on.

I love that movie and that quote.
cabooklover
Sep. 18th, 2011 06:36 pm (UTC)
I had just started my junior year of HS, I have to say it was extremely freaky and bewildering. It seemed like school got back to 'normal' about a couple of weeks later but it stayed with me.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )